As you may have heard by now our FET (frozen embryo transfer) was cancelled last week and we have to start all over again!
I had been on the estrogen pills for about 5 days - these estrogen pills are used to build a thick lining in the uterus for the embryos to attach to. On Tuesday evening I started experiencing some spotting, I had a blood draw the next day and when I told the clinic they were like “well that’s unusual!” ... however after they got my blood work back my hormone levels were perfect and exactly where they wanted them. They told me to call Monday if I was still experiencing any bleeding, but that’s a long time to wait! From Wednesday to Monday, my regular menstrual cycles aren’t even that long! I ended up calling on Friday just to double check that they thought I was still okay - they didn’t. They immediately wanted to cancel our cycle and start over. I was so upset and emotional, I told them I wanted to do everything possible to not have to start again. The next day they had me come in for an ultrasound to see if I had built up any lining, and there was nothing. Well there’s always something, but it was a “menstural lining” meaning it was as thin as it could possibly be. Up until this point I had been secretly hoping that my lining was so thick it was starting to shed, and then they’d have to say “let’s put those embryos in there today!” But we all know infertility doesn’t work like that.
So Whats Next?
We are starting over. Back to the very beginning. I started birth control again right away - which is awful because I’m a monster on birth control. In a couple weeks I’ll start the estrogen pills again and we’ll just hope that it turns out better. We will still be able to transfer our little embryos before Christmas, but we won’t know if they decided to stick until after the New Year. I'm still keeping our exact dates close, but you guys at least know the general timeline. This will put us off by an entire month.
I’m extremely disappointed because I didn’t want to take any of this into the new year - this was going to be it! I was going to be done with IVF (for a while at least). Also having all these things happen around the holidays is awful! I don’t want to remember Christmas and New Years with these things.
I'm also trying to find the "silver lining" even though my heart is becoming more and more pessimistic by the day. If this cycle would have failed we would have found out just before Christmas, it would have definitely ruined it and I absolutely love Christmas. So bright side is - we get to find out if it all worked AFTER the festivities.
We continue to receive so much love and support and it's carried us through the struggles and uncertainty of this entire year. Little baby Wilson will have quite the story to tell about how much they were loved even as a little frozen embryo!